I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
