Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
