I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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