whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
