brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
