don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
