Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
