Tell her she can't have a vagina
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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