the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
