After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
