I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
