You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
