God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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