I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
sex in a hospital.. check
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
