you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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