I hope mine doesn't look like that
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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