I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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