Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
