Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
