dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
