Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
