id be glad to
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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