im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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