sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
