I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
