we have officially lost it.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
