Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
