Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
