Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
