He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
