Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize