Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
