The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize