the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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