thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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