you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
