so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
