i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
