the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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