My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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