when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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