how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
