Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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