I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
