he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
