Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have aggressive nipples.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
