I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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