so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
