Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
