The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
