Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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