I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
