Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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