make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize