He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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