remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
