3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What drink are we having for lunch?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
