did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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