His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
