Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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