I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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