Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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