O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize