The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
