I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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