it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Damn victory sex feels great
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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