Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I could fuck to npr.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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