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• (208): View more from Idaho

  all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

  (775): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.

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• (241): View more from

  Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable

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