I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
