Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
