Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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