You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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