So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
