so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
